I wish you had the opportunity to meet my grandmother. Marguerite Hambarian. Born on January 1, 1912. She always said that she loved having her birthday on New Years – that way everyone could celebrate with her. I love her outlook! She was an incredible woman with insight that I have yet to see in another person. Born well before her time, she lit the world on fire and deeply touched those around her. She truly had a servant’s heart and a compassion for people. I woke up early this morning and the first thing that came to mind were thoughts of her. And since it is to early to call my Auntie Sandy or Mom and reminisce I decided to write to all of you. My new found sounding board!
Today, this day, I miss her terribly. I feel a little lost and alone without her sometimes. Like the little girl who used to yearn to be around her because she “felt” so good. She has taken a piece of me to her place in heaven, a piece that will be forever hers. And in a huge measure she has left me with incredible gifts that I carry in my heart. I am in part the person I am today because of her guidance and influence. Because she took the time to challenge me, teach me, care for and love me with no strings attached.
Although she passed away many years ago now, the pain in my heart is still there. She was and is my idol. She loved me unconditionally. And although she did not say those words verbally very often – she didn’t have to. I knew it. I felt it. I believe it. I saw it in her eyes, felt it in her actions and believed it no matter what the situation was. No one can tell me that my grandmother did not love me. I am unwavering on that subject because time after time after time she was there for me no matter the situation. The sparkle in her eyes as she looked at me said it all. Just walking into her house and spending time with her made the world seem right. No matter what trouble I got into – and that was quite a bit, or however frustrated I felt about something in my life, her ability to dispense sound advice and not judge me were constant.
Watching her throughout my life – she seemed like she was a rock. Steadfast and determined. Strong and full of life. People were drawn to her, sought her out for advice and conversation and at times it seemed to me that they took advantage of her good nature. But she never had a cross word. Her heart was an overflowing vessel of love and compassion that encompassed not only her family but extended to the outside world and people she had never met. Her giving attitude was constantly and consistently exemplified in the fact that she was the first person to meet the needs of others. Whether she gave her last dollar, the last item of clothing or her last can of food – she gave willingly. She was not a wealthy woman monetarily (by todays standards) but she was wealthy beyond belief.
And to this day I feel that each person who had the honor of meeting her was truly blessed. She was an incredible woman. I admire her so much and miss her active presence in my life. Her teachings and influence guide me continually.
When I grow up I want to be like my grandmother! Marguerite Hambarian.